When you are in a funk

point 1 –

Make time for one thing you enjoy. And do it only for the enjoyment; no hidden agenda for the activity. For me, it was going out for a hack with my horse, just me and him out in the fields and trial. No goal, just enjoyment and appreciation.

It was small but it helped so much. 

If you feel overwhelmed with so much going on, remember this one truth; we are here to enjoy ourselves. Find something you enjoy, and go enjoy it for the sheer reason of pure enjoyment 

point 2 –

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE “BUSY” TO BE PRODUCTIVE.

There is productive downtime, productive sleeping and resting. There is productive soaking up the sun time. Productive anything.

The key is to be fully in it, without feeling guilt, without feeling anxious.

You don’t have to be “busy” to be busy.

Be busy enjoying, be busy relaxing.. if you want to.

You have time, don’t put yourself in situations where you always feel like you don’t have time.

You will be busy your whole life. And look around to ask “what was a buys doing?”

Enjoyment of life is your default state. When all else fails, try to simply enjoy this place.

journal thought to myself-

Dec 21:

It’s crazy, I feel like I have a good handle on myself, but then all of a sudden it’s unbearable. Like Woah. What a 180 of feelings.
But I can use these feelings for growth, I can learn and then ask more detailed questions.

Dec 19:

Sometimes I can hardly handle what it means to be human
it’s overwhelming. Our population is so massive, yet our circles are small.
It’s so complicated, yet it isn’t.
It’s so this, yet it isn’t.

I cant grasp it.
I know I am here, I know this is “my” time. But what does that mean?
I cant grasp it.

It’s like I know enough about this world and our universe all around me for it to freak me out.

What is really real? What is really my life?

I am in the now and the now of my existence; I cannot explain or comprehend. So many truths are coming to the surface for me. I want to know and be told everything will be ok. Shelby, you are in control. But there are so many rules to this, so many borders in this, so many obstacles through this. I have a hard time seeing my way.

I am in a weird place of being sick, tired, and falling. I feel myself seeping low. But I don’t want it, not again. I don’t want to get to that level again. But I am so tired, unsure, and overwhelmed; it seems like doing nothing is already enough for me.

I am ok, I am not depressed, just unable to grasp this existence at this time and space I am in. I wonder about my past, I wonder about my future. I wonder about me. I guess this is me but this also isn’t..not now.

Thanks for reading. Check out the writings on medium too!

Medium Link

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