What am I thinking about?
Why can’t I just bask in the right now?
Take this breath, focus on that.
This morning, I was walking down a walking trail. About 3 k there and back. As I could see the next road in front of me, usually where I turn around I was viewing that as my finish line where I can turn around. But why am I so focused on that moment ahead where I am missing out on the tunnel of trees, nature, and wildlife all around me?
For the past few days, I have been foggy about my future.
Thinking and getting no answer about what I want my future to look like. It was causing a lot of distress and anxiety, from when I woke up to usually when I laid back down for the night. I was trying to relax, and love, where I am but this feeling of no direction, is enough to stir up unhealthy thoughts and behaviors that lead to no action.
Yesterday I have two thoughts that led me here.
One – I decided I need to BECOME in order to HAVE. Something I say often, “be do have.” I needed to BE! I think I was stuck thinking I had to Have it before I could Do, but the opposite is true. I needed to become it in order to have it. I needed to start writing and start _ in order to get the rewards of that. Actors don’t get famous then become actors, they become actors first and then get the audience(usually) for me the same is true. I felt I needed popularity online FIRST before I was able to start the things I truly wanted to do with and for my community.
Second – My friend told me, you have to stay in the moment. This is where you are and you have to be ok with that. We all might want to do or become more which is great but you also have to be content, you have to be in the now. This is something I was forgetting to remind myself over the past few days. Be here right now. Breathe in, breathe out.
I also gave myself permission to struggle. Still working on it but I realized there are many many maaaannnyyyyy paths to get to a desired goal or outcome. There is no right or wrong way, just harder or easier. Life is always going to be full of “hards” and it’s within our control to choose which hard we want to face and tackle. The hard of maybe being misunderstood, the hard of working out.
These are all forms of payment for a brighter, fulfilling future. The upfront payment is your time and energy that will give you results. Do the work now, and feel the benefits later. Pay upfront for all you do. Do the hard first, then get the rewards later. Example – the gym, work out, eat right, feel changed later on. Feel fitter and stronger.
Or riding – the “hard” is sometimes showing up in a good head space to ride with the right intention. How can we get there? Read positive books, learn at home, continuously improve your mind and body and ride, anywhere you are. Then when you go to the barn, you are ready to absorb the feedback from your horse. You can do the work first to get the benefits of a clear, healthy relationship with your horse later on.
It takes time, but it’s the only way. Remember, we are not in a rush. We are here and we are looking around at all life offers for us right “now”. We all know the journey is more important than the destination. Let’s not forget that message. Let’s take a deep breath in of now and let’s make those payments now for a brighter future that is how you decided to create it today.