First morning back home, I feel myself slipping back into the old me. The one who wakes up unsure where she is. Wants to escape through social media the first thing in the morning and the one who feels a little unsure she belongs where she is. I feel my body talking to me all the time. With the anxiousness of discontentment and the uneasiness of being stuck. The question is, how do I honor it and live out my highest purpose?
Raul said he felt neither of us belonged in the time or space in which we were currently in. Why do I feel that with all my soul. It’s a “made for more” feeling, a feeling of something needed to be different. A feeling of “I need more from life than my current reality.”
I want to be the Shelby from Cuba. Why did she feel more at ease? Was it because she was free from her own self? Even though it was only for a short 7 days?
Why does the tangled knot in between her chest of overwhelming life directions and decisions linger in her mornings when she wakes up? Opening her eyes out of dream land into the realness of now. Realness of my life and others lives. How unsettling it is to know the way others live every day. The reality they face.
What can I do? I cannot rest. I cannot settle. I know I am made for more. I Know I can share my story. I know I can help people. I know I can. I know I can.
I hear the birds chirping. It makes me feel time. Time is passing. Spring is coming. How can I move forward. How can I move forward from here?
It is back to life and back to reality. The song is playing in my head. I wonder where they got the inspiration to say those string of words just as I did.
love you my friend