This journey was given to me, i believe, for a reason. I always like to think that lessons i need to learn will appear and when they do, i am here to walk through the misty path to discover the light waiting for me on the other side.

it’s happened to me a lot in the past and usually, when i look back on those moments, i can thank the experiences for giving me new perspectives and ways in which i can grow and evolve.

As i live through this experience, i fid myself wondering “what is the thing here?” “what can i gain from this?” the answer is a lot.

I have gained new appreciation for good health care. I have gained appreciation for the small little things and using those small little coals given to me as enough to keep the fire lite and warm.

It is the little things – that is what i have learnt.

But to start off. I live in Canada, i pay for health care through the taxes that we all are responsible for pitching into. I haven’t really needed real health care until i became pregnant. I knew it was around me, but i didnt really know to what extent the health care can be there for its people. every time i go into Mcmaster or the RM house, i just take a big breath in of appreciation. This is it, i would tell myself. Seeing people going every which direction being purposeful and helping the lives of their fellow humans no matter, race, ethnicity, rich or poor; every one here is important, and it gives me hope.

We all can learn something from these workers. They come in for their shift work, sacrificing a lot of themselves to be in this service for others. i am thankful for my NICU experience just for opening my eyes to the level of work it takes to have a smooth running health centre.

you’re lucky, of course if you havent had the opportunity to experience it first hand. But whether you know it or not, these things are happening behind the scenes and are here anytime you find yourself needing its expertise. So thank you good health care, i now appreciate you a lot more then i did before. i now see the work and care and love and service that goes into making patients experiences as good as it can be.

the next thing is the small things.

I received countless messages from people from all over my life. From when i was under 16 doing saddle club shows to those across the oceans that i have crossed paths with within my time here. their messages have been one thing that all hit me in a different way, they all give me the strength, and the cozy love felt that we are al truly in this together, in some way shape or form.

i got one in particular that i think we both benefited from the exchange. She told me how hearing my story opened her eyes to the small things she may have taken for granted as she navigates new motherhood, just a few months ahead of me.

I thought about her message and it made me realize that this is all full circle. she is ahead of me, yet my experience allowed her to slow down and appreciate the small things like i have to. Becoming a mom, happens really fast. Maybe i am the only one who feels that, but from when i found out i was pregnant to this surprise of a early delivery, it has happened fast.. and then it didnt.

the things that didnt happen fast are what are happening right now. The cuddling, the holding, the feeding, the changing of the diaper, the full mom experience is slow for me. Where i can imagine other moms it happens within a few days, everything, boom! You take the baby home and you are dropped into the role of motherhood and thats that, it just seems to happen so fast and maybe you dont realize the small things as much that way.

I am thankful to hear my story has given the perspective of the small things. I have to have patience and take those crumbs as they come. I have to let that be enough to feed me as i wait until the buffet really happens.

for those who got the normal buffet into parenthood, remember to slow down. Embrace whats in front of you and chew your food. It’s always about the small things and sometimes life gets to show you that, learn it and you will always be full.