Today is day 2. I am home from the hospital with a empty uterus while the hospital has a mini bed, occupying our 30 week old little girl.

(ps forwarding, i am writing this real time. i dont care if you dont care about punctuation, grammar and spelling) just read between the lines, i am not writing a final edit, cause in life anywasy when is there ever a final edit?!! This is life, just enjoy the mistakes, the windy turns that untimately lead you EXACTLY where you are meant to.

This story is to share the unfolding of a beautiful life, no — lives. of all lives. It is a magical hidden unfolding that we dont always see or know or think is “good for us”. But this story is that story. it is good. the timing is godlike. enjoy it for what it is.

This is my story and my hidden thoughts as i undergo this ride of a preterm delivery and the things this is bringing forward for me — i share it with you, Here.

This is our story.

But first, to create a backstory.

Here is that.

Two weeks ago, ish. I was 28 weeks pregnant. I had a midwife team who was great. I was beginning to search on youtube for videos on how to pack a bag for the hospital, the essentials for a newborns few few months, the tips for breastfeeding and so on. I was gearing down for the March 30 due date I had as a countdown on my phone(I guess i can cancel that one).

So two weeks ago, I begun having a little bit of differences down there. As in there was something new happening; discharge. After a day or so and a few unsettled google searches I paged my midwife, told her the story and got in that day to be assessed. Did the pleasant cervix check, got swabbed and confirmed it was not amitotic fluid but just the normal thing that happens in the third trimester. Sounds good to me!

I go home and contine about my life. Feeling my daughter inside me every chance i slowed down enough to feel her. It was like this weird check id do to confirm that i was still in fact pregnant and yes, every time i still was. Dream has not been confirmed and this is real life and i was holding a little human inside of me. Only two more months to go until i’d meet her.

So after my midwife appointment things were steady, including my flow down there. Nothing much, just a little bit of a egg white as they’d describe it. Nothing much until it was a much! A tablespoon was the said amount to have which i did for a while. Then somehow, things changed for reason we will never know. the flow began to get more like a water which they also said was normal. “they” being the midwifes who i trust, and the damn google search bar ad countless articles, which is hard NOT to trust, like why?!

Eventually you need to trust yourself. Ultimitaley you, your child, nature around you knows more, trust the unfolding. That is my message.

So, at this moment i was housesitting my moms place.. We own 6 horses together there, and she has two dogs and two cats on the property that i was looking after. She was away on a nice little week getaway and i had to promise that there would be no reason for her to come home early, i tried to keep that promise, but oops, sorry mom!

It was Sunday Jan 21, 2024 and life was just dandy. I decided to detail my car which was on the “pre baby” check list. Main task of the day complete but i did feel the physical work little bit. I thought I am glad i dont do that everyday cause i am feeling very pregnant. I continued on as i continued to still be changing my pads. Only one for a day, one for a night; keeping it still around the table spoon, maybe two, i couldnt really tell…

The following day was monday of course and of course I am achy and crampy and sore. Like why did i do all that bending over yesterday detailing my car i wondered as i laid on the couch feeling unable to do a whole lot more then that.

As the day continued so did the casual flow.. but i told myself this is normal. They said this is normal to feel crampy and have discharge in the third trimester.

It was that day i decided if i still feel that way tomorrow i will call my midwife. i also decided that day to get my diabetes test booked, i felt late to that party but knew i still needed to get it done. 7:20 the following day? Sign me up! Booked and planned.

I would fast for 10 hours which is when i would tossing and turning all night because of the constant period like pain and then id go do my 2 hour long test. great plan!

As i was sitting in the beginning of my test, waiting for another needle in my elbow to draw blood i decided “i am calling the midwife. I am hurting and this fun little discharge filled two pads last night”. It is time to get reassessed i think. Too bad we didnt even have time for that, as within the hour of us booking a meetup at our designated hospital my water broke.

Like, it broke.

That thing they say happens, really did happen, just like the movies.

It was a pin that popped the balloon and the water balloon went all down my legs and onto the floor of the diabetes lab i was in.

i open the door and do the casual “excuse me” as one of the ladies walked by. She looks at me and i say the typical thing “hi yes, so i think my water just broke.”

it was 15 mintues after that a ambulance was there and taking me and a pair of some ones scrubs to mcmaster; a fabulous hospital and childrens hospital.

( i thought i could write up to this day, which our daughter is offically 24 hours old) but i am tired. But, i will continue to write this out as the days go on.. Please follow as i share the process moving forward of the next few months of having a baby in neonatal intensive care unitl.

Ps. As we are likely to cancel the baby shower and the registry since the things on that list really aren’t that relevant in this moment, I think if anyone would like to offer the universal gift of $$ we would accept that to help us cover the current life events unfolding. It would be your baby gift and we would be so appreciate of the support of our story and also me sharing the story, which I plan on continuing everyday.

To send a gift use PayPal (shelbschlager@gmail.com) or etransfer (sdd_94@hotmail.com)

Thank you and see you guys in chapter 2.

Love

Shelby